My heart aches
with an excruciating pain -
For you have done
What I never thought I'd feel again.
I don't know what to do
Or even what to say -
I don't even know how to act -
Or what to do.
Will someone help me?
Will this pain drive me insane?
I try to think
Of other things ...
Friday, July 13, 2012
Hiding
Sadly mistaken
horribly distraught...
I turn to the one person
whom I trust the most
No one can help me
No one understands
For the hurt you caused
can never be reprimanded.
horribly distraught...
I turn to the one person
whom I trust the most
No one can help me
No one understands
For the hurt you caused
can never be reprimanded.
Heed the Warnings
Every though
is drowned out
by your name.
Every emotion
blackened
by your memory,
My scarred
heart is unprotected
from your words,
For you
have no decency
or emotions,
You
are just what
I was warned
About.
is drowned out
by your name.
Every emotion
blackened
by your memory,
My scarred
heart is unprotected
from your words,
For you
have no decency
or emotions,
You
are just what
I was warned
About.
Comfort
Trying to concentrate
Teary eyed
and oblivious
to the world.
You see something
In me.
You make me hold my
head up high
and wipe away
my tears.
and yet,
all of my fears
are gone too.
Teary eyed
and oblivious
to the world.
You see something
In me.
You make me hold my
head up high
and wipe away
my tears.
and yet,
all of my fears
are gone too.
Bitterness
Eating away at
my thoughts
and
stealing my dreams --
You think you
are destined
to
screw me.
You are mislead
mistaken if
you will -
for you are the one
who's going
to burn
in hell.
my thoughts
and
stealing my dreams --
You think you
are destined
to
screw me.
You are mislead
mistaken if
you will -
for you are the one
who's going
to burn
in hell.
Emptiness
Confused and angry,
By the words,
You spoke.
Heartbreak is,
Not new to
Me.
I trusted you -
I confided in you,
And yet now -
You're not here.
What did I do that
Was so wrong?
That drove you
Away?
I guess I will
Never know,
Since fate had
Different plans.
By the words,
You spoke.
Heartbreak is,
Not new to
Me.
I trusted you -
I confided in you,
And yet now -
You're not here.
What did I do that
Was so wrong?
That drove you
Away?
I guess I will
Never know,
Since fate had
Different plans.
Monday, July 9, 2012
The Nightmare from Last Night
I had two sets of nightmares. One involved my grandfather (I dreamed about him last night, too) and the other involved one of my best friends that I grew up with but we've grown a part.
And, no, before you ask, I have not played any zombie games or watched zombie movies yesterday.
The first nightmare was about my grandfather.
We were back in his hospital room, watching him die all over again. That was rough enough. After he took his last breath and died, a team of nurses and doctors came in, moved us out of the way, and started to resuscitate him. They brought him back. I looked over at the monitor and saw a heartbeat. I was so excited! My grandfather would live! My family and I gave each other hugs and we were so happy. Then, my grandfather spoke to all of us.
"Who are you?"
He didn't remember anything about us ... who we were, what he was doing in the hospital, nothing. All of his memories were gone. My heart sank. This, to me, was worse than death. He didn't even recognize my grandmother. She tried to get him to remember, and then she started to cry. The doctor suggested putting him in a nursing home because he would need around the clock care. He couldn't even remember how to get dressed. It was so hard to watch. This wasn't the grandfather I remembered. Then, I woke up.
The second dream took place in Augusta. I was with my long time friend, the one I grew up with, and his family. I was visiting because I haven't been to Augusta in a long, long time. I got to meet his wife and say hello to the new arrival. Everything was going great until I heard a bunch of sirens go off outside. We flipped on the news to find that SRS was having some sort of melt down and everyone needed to evacuate quickly. I grabbed the wife by the hand and my friend followed us. We made it to the last helicopter but there was only room for three. I shoved my friend aboard with his family, and before they could do anything the helicopter took off. I stood there and watched, knowing I was going to die, but that they would be safe. He had kids and I didn't. He needed to be with his family. If I was lucky, I would find transport somewhere else. But before I could do anything, the helicopter blew up. I screamed. The fiery wreckage rained down around me. I sank to my knees. I was the one who made them get on that helicopter. I was the reason they died.
And, no, before you ask, I have not played any zombie games or watched zombie movies yesterday.
The first nightmare was about my grandfather.
We were back in his hospital room, watching him die all over again. That was rough enough. After he took his last breath and died, a team of nurses and doctors came in, moved us out of the way, and started to resuscitate him. They brought him back. I looked over at the monitor and saw a heartbeat. I was so excited! My grandfather would live! My family and I gave each other hugs and we were so happy. Then, my grandfather spoke to all of us.
"Who are you?"
He didn't remember anything about us ... who we were, what he was doing in the hospital, nothing. All of his memories were gone. My heart sank. This, to me, was worse than death. He didn't even recognize my grandmother. She tried to get him to remember, and then she started to cry. The doctor suggested putting him in a nursing home because he would need around the clock care. He couldn't even remember how to get dressed. It was so hard to watch. This wasn't the grandfather I remembered. Then, I woke up.
The second dream took place in Augusta. I was with my long time friend, the one I grew up with, and his family. I was visiting because I haven't been to Augusta in a long, long time. I got to meet his wife and say hello to the new arrival. Everything was going great until I heard a bunch of sirens go off outside. We flipped on the news to find that SRS was having some sort of melt down and everyone needed to evacuate quickly. I grabbed the wife by the hand and my friend followed us. We made it to the last helicopter but there was only room for three. I shoved my friend aboard with his family, and before they could do anything the helicopter took off. I stood there and watched, knowing I was going to die, but that they would be safe. He had kids and I didn't. He needed to be with his family. If I was lucky, I would find transport somewhere else. But before I could do anything, the helicopter blew up. I screamed. The fiery wreckage rained down around me. I sank to my knees. I was the one who made them get on that helicopter. I was the reason they died.
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