Holding on to a Lie

I sat there, trying to piece everything together. Why in the world would he leave me alone like this? Why would he let the salty, bitter tears fall from my eyes without even trying to stop them? I was confused and hurt. The words kept pouring out of his mouth, excuses to try and sugar coat the words I thought I was never meant to hear.

"It's not you, it's me. It's not Elaine's or anyone's fault."

"We both knew this was going to happen."

"Are you alright?"

I try to hold back as many tears as I can. I don't want him to see how much he's hurting me, that blasted Irish pride I was raised on.

He turned to leave and I knew he would be gone forever. The truth is, I didn't want him back after catching him in bed with his secretary. It was so cliched. All those working late nights...not coming home when he was scheduled too...why hadn't I seen it? What was wrong with me? I continued to blame myself for the fault of another.

Then, I let the tears fall.

Already Known Pain

My heart aches
with an excruciating pain -
For you have done
What I never thought I'd feel again.
I don't know what to do
Or even what to say -
I don't even know how to act -
Or what to do.
Will someone help me?
Will this pain drive me insane?
I try to think
Of other things ...

Heed the Warnings

Every though
is drowned out
by your name.

Every emotion
blackened
by your memory,

My scarred
heart is unprotected
from your words,

For you
have no decency
or emotions,

You
are just what
I was warned

About.